Friday, July 4, 2014

My six months of eating Swill

How much time per week do you spend grocery shopping, cooking food, buying food, or even just eating? How much time does someone in the third-world spend doing the same? Answer: a lot. And that's a lot of time wasted on what is nothing more than refueling.

As the CEO of a successful startup I don't have time to sleep (let alone eat) and so I'm always looking for ways to optimize my day. About a year ago I first heard rumors of a way to eliminate all the wasteful time spent on personal refueling using a new product called Swill.

Swill is a 100% Total Meal Replacement Drink that contains everything the body needs in a convenient powder form that is simply mixed with water to make an appetizing gray drink. For the last six months I've been FoodFree by drinking only Swill three times a day.

Just look at the data, I've got low cholesterol, low body fat and I've lost 20 pounds. The combination of Swill and my Treadwater Desk has made a huge difference to my life.

Now, some people might be put off by the name Swill because of the connection with the traditional method of feeding pigs from a groundup mixture of food scraps that are turned into a liquid diet. But that's the genius of the Swill brand. Ever taste bacon? Isn't it good? Yep, well bacon comes from pigs fed on their own version of Swill.

It's also an anti-brand. At first it seems off-putting (like Uggs boots) but after a while you get used to saying "All I eat is Swill" and you realize that the laughter of those around you is hollow. The hollow sound of people who still chew their food.

Chewing's bad. You can't talk and chew at the same time otherwise food (remember that stuff?) falls out of your mouth onto your iPad Air. But with Swill I just suck on the straw, swallow and keep Skyping.

Sure, as a pioneer I run some risks and the long term effects are likely unknown. But you can't trust scientists on this because look at the mess they've made of dietary knowledge (oh, it's sugar that's bad for you now, not fat?!?). That's why I'm happy that Swill has been created by people outside the Food Industrial Complex.

There have been some noticeable side effects in the short term, but side effects are just proof that you're pushing the envelope and stepping outside the No Danger Zone. As an entrepreneur you only make progress by taking risks.

For me the side effects have been: excessive flatulence and loose teeth. The former is no big deal as I work from home and I've mostly cured it by making my Swill with biolive yogurt to keep the old intestine in ship shape.

As for loose teeth, well that comes from not chewing. And I've optimized that away using Swill Gum. This new product from Swill replaces all the useless 'chewing food' with 'targeted chewing'. When I'm working out in the gym I use the SwillApp to target each chew-zone in my mouth. After an hour of lifting weights and masticating, my muscles and teeth are pumped up.

It's worth mentioning that there's a correlation between the time people spend eating and their productivity. An inverse one. Just look at those long lazy lunch countries like France and Italy. Where are they on the list of awesome iApp producers? Nowhere. I don't think you'd see the French inventing Yo.

Swill's the future. And I've started to introduce it to people I meet with. Instead of asking people to 'do lunch' I now say 'Let's talk it through over a trough' and offer them their own Swill cup. Believe me, those meetings are way shorter and way more focused then a traditional chewing-laden business lunch.

No chewing, no conversation pauses, just two-way information flow. Thanks, Swill!

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